On the webinar last Sunday, we were presented with a very difficult challenge. Try to go 7 days without a negative thought (that you immediately correct within a few seconds) I was exposed to this challenge last year when I read someone’s blog and it didn’t take long for me to dismiss it because my mindset was not ready for it. Now, the MKE course up to this point has prepared me to think differently about changing to a positivity bias. Yes, I’ve already had to start over numerous times, but I actually see the value in working toward the 7 days. Even if I never hit that goal (which I am not conceding), the thought of being able to rewire my brain to think positively by default instead of negatively is wonderful and I actually believe it is possible. Its hard to imagine any area of life that would not be better from doing this.
Honestly its hard to even make it a couple of hours without a negative thought that I actually give into. Getting through even 1 day would be amazing progress, but still very much worth the effort. This exercise really brings an awareness of how much negativity there is in my head on a regular basis. Also, for me, its the realization that the negativity is my reaction and my perception of what’s going on, not what is actually happening in reality. My results so far are: start over, start over, start over….. But, I think this should really be a permanent way of life going forward, even if I never get to the 7 day mark. Why? Because observing my thoughts and my reactions to everything happening in my life is very enlightening and empowering.
As I look back over the last 7 weeks, I am amazed at how much I have changed. I started out as someone who has spent my entire life struggling with severe depression. Over the years, I have tried numerous medications, counseling, etc. and nothing worked. I guess you would call that treatment resistant depression. Over the course of this last year, I have just hit a wall with being so tired of that. Its so unacceptable as a way to live. I can honestly say that I have been a generally happy person over the last couple of months. I have done some mental work and made progress prior to the course and this course really came at the perfect time in my life to help me get to the next level.
Yesterday, I had a particularly challenging day. I got really stressed out because of a bad decision I made and my attitude really deteriorated throughout the day. As I was driving home, I just calmly talked myself through the situation. I told myself that I have the choice and the power to stop the negativity right now. I prayed and asked for forgiveness for my attitude and actions AND I forgave myself! Then, I did everything I could to mitigate the damage from the mistake I made and take responsibility for it. I gave myself permission to not be “perfect” and to learn from my mistakes and become a better person over time.
As I reflect on all of this, I think the clarity I have in my mind about my PPN of True Health has really been critical to my progress. I know that I want to be a person that lives in the present moment, full of inner peace, optimism, enthusiasm, joy, and confidence. Now, when I am experiencing feelings and attitudes that are contrary to that, I really notice the contrast and make adjustments!